Red Beard Racers
burst hobbled their way into the public domain (after months of secret training and years of carb loading) at the You Yangs Trail Running Festival. The race is organised by the great crew at TrailsPlus. Judge Jules and Lightning Luke braved the cold to front up to the 30km course. Seasoned trail runners, this was the first outing for Red Beard Racers as a team.
It was fair to say that the debut wasn’t the ‘shot over the bow’ that RBR was aiming for, after all, the team logo was designed to strike fear in the minds of other teams registered for the Surf Coast Century such as the “Coast Busters”. Nuno Balboa was a no-show, The Judge was battling a cold and cocktail party mini dim-sim remorse and Lightning was hopped up on cold and flu capsules. Despite this, the red beards took off, setting a cracking pace behind the older ladies.
The festival included 15km, 30km, 50km and 50 mile (80km) courses, so relatively, we could only puff our chests out as we passed some of the field whilst jumping out of the way of the serious guys in the long runs.
The first 10km passed relatively easily as Lightning picked a ‘nemesis’ (someone you must not be beaten by, in this case a 60 year old lady), and they set their sites on Flinder’s Peak. Without needing to stop for discussion (but needing to stop for a toilet break) the boys shifted the theme of the day from ‘shock and awe’ to ‘let’s just try to finish’.
The last 10km were pretty tough, the man-flu cloud was hovering, Lightning started with the “I can’t feel my arms” or “should I be worried if I’m loosing my hearing” with intermittent horror flashbacks to the Maroondah Trail Run DNF (The DNF belongs to Lightning, The Judge practically won that one). As they rounded the bend the great volunteer at the Aid Station proclaimed “Second Last…Station”, Lightning joked “I thought you were going to say we’re second last!”, big LOLs all round. Truth was we weren’t too far from the back of the pack.
In the last couple of kms, a Mick Donges (eventual winner of the 80km race) look-alike was seen walking up the hill…”QUICK! Let’s catch him”. It wasn’t him. Anyway, we finished and probably even more impressively, resisted the urge to stop at the Service Centre on the Geelong Road on the way home for Dim Sims and Triple Bacon and Egg rolls with a side of Big M. More impressively again was the kick-ass medal. Fun fact: Lightning refuses to compete unless there is a medal for all competitors (let’s face it, a medal for placing won’t happen).
- Mini dim sims don’t do you any favours.
- Drop toilets are horrible (we already knew this, we just were reminded).
- Mick Donges doesn’t walk up hills.
- Cold and Flu Capsules are not part of a sound race nutrition plan.
- Fortified and salad = night of spewing and no show.
More training required although we have ordered t-shirts which will surely make things better. This shit just got real.
Today’s words brought to you by: Lightning