Melbourne Marathon Festival – 13th October 2013

The Judge and Balboa swapped trail for tarmac and took part in the Melbourne Marathon Festival…here are their thoughts:

Medibank Melbourne Marathon – The Judge

I managed to get to the G at 5am two hours early after completely overestimating how long it would take to drive and find a park. It was good though – plenty of time to get organised. My pre-race routine has become a bit of a ritual these days and it goes something like this: Head to the loo, pin on race number, mandatory pic of start-line, count gels, vas up, strap toes, smash half bottle of Gatorade, loo (again), two immodium pills, warm-up jog with a few strides, loo (yet again!), switch Garmin on, head to start-line (one final precautionary loo stop if time permits!), get nervous, convince myself I’ve forgotten something vital, stretch, race! 2 hours is barely enough to fit all that in!


The weather was looking perfect. Cool and calm and and no signs yet of the forecast wind and hail. I headed to the start at 6:45 and found the 3:20 pacers. They both looked like sleek running machines which was slightly disconcerting. Here I was feeling like a pretender with my penchant for Coopers Pale and South Melbourne dim sims (steamed not fried of course). The bloke on the microphone was doing a pretty good job of pumping everyone up although he kept repeating at naseum that we were blessed to be Australian. It seemed a slightly odd mantra. Maybe it was just me. Before I knew it the gun went off and we were away!

I set off and found myself 50-100m ahead of the pacers and tried to settle into a rhythm. The first few minutes were fairly hectic but not as bad as some of the other big city runs. My first km was a little slow as expected but the next few were around 4:36-4:39m. It was a tad too fast but found it hard to slow down. The heart rate was sitting around 155-160bpm – higher than I was happy with. The 3:20 bus came past at around the 10km mark so I bought a ticket and jumped on. It was becoming obvious that 3:20 was going to be a beyond me which was getting me frustrated and a bit flat. The heart was starting to pop 160 – way to early for it to be that high. Such a contrast from the previous weekend’s final hit out when I had run much quicker for 15-16km, felt comfortable and kept the heart rate down the whole way. It was not looking like my day.

Halfway and hurting...not a good sign
Halfway and hurting…not a good sign

The sensible decision at that point would have been to rethink my goal and slow down but  I wasn’t quite ready to throw in the towel. I decided to stick with the pacers until halfway and then see how I felt. By 20km I was really hurting and had dropped back to the second 3:20 pacer. I stuck with him for another km then the elastic snapped and I bode farewell. The 3:20 bus was quickly into the sunset and I was reduced to 5:30 minute k’s. The next 15km was HARD. My legs just had nothing. I wasn’t sure if it was some residual effects of the Surf Coast Century three weeks earlier or the first half had just been way too fast for my abilty. Whatever it was I felt terrible. While I’ve cramped badly in marathons before and had huge battles to coordinate my legs to propel me in a forward direction this was quite a different sensation. Just a complete lack of power.

The 3:30 pacers came up behind me at the worst possible moment – halfway up the hill on Fitzroy St (it felt like a mountain). I had no hope of jumping on and watched them trot on past.  St Kilda Rd seemed to take forever althought I had a mental lift when I saw my bro Pete heading home after running the 10k. At the 35km mark I was reduced to a couple of walking breaks on the arts centre loop. The final hill up past the gardens was a slow struggle however  an uber-enthusiastic fellow was giving advice and encouragement to everyone near the crux of the hill. It’s amazing the support and encouragement you seen in these runs from complete strangers. It actually made me a bit emotional and really helped get to the top. On the way back down to St Kilda Rd I started to feel semi-decent again and over the last 3km managed a couple of sub 5’s which had been unimaginable 10km earlier.

The rain came tumbling down as I entered the G and ran the final lap of the hallowed turf. It was a huge relief to cross the line. 3h38m – well off my 3:20 goal and 3:28 PB.

I sat down in the bowels of the MCG for quite a long time in my post-marathon haze. It’s always an emotional time and this was no different. It was quite moving watching some of the other runner’s post-race reactions. I’d had a bad day but clearly some others had been through much worse. The highlight though was probably a poor young chap who skulled a blue gatorade and then to his complete surprise proceeded to projectile vomit it across the recovery area. After an hour or so I hobbled up to Fed Square for some rehydration beers and post-race analysis with my bro and Balboa.

Overall a tough day out but I I’ll be back.

Time: 3h38m58s

Cheesy finish
Cheesy finish
Murky weather over the G

The Coffee Club 10km Run – Balboa
It will sound a bit lame, but this is the story of my 10km PB (the 15km PB was on the Run for the Kids last year and I haven’t run much more than those distances).

I know the distance doesn’t glorify this team, but it is an enormous event in my chronology.

So the week starts as usual when the Judge asks me if I want to participate in the Melbourne Marathon as he has a 10km spare ticket. The next obvious step for me would be running a half-marathon (even if I’ve never trained for it) but a 10km was a very good opportunity to get a PB since I didn’t have one at this distance.

I gladly accepted the entry and our week got a little bit more exciting, thinking about the weekend and the opportunity to break personal records. Judge and I did a bit of training (mixed run/cycling) before the race and then the weekend came, and with it the first real sunny day (Saturday) and I felt compelled to use my balcony and throw a BBQ for friends. Of course it had to be an alcoholic free event for Judge and me, Judge was disciplined with a couple of non-alcoholic beers, but I didn’t follow that line and ended up having a mix of beer, gin and tonic, red wine, green wine (Vinho Verde/Rias Baixa) and fortified wine (of course all in small dosages).

So the preparation for the race was a mix of dehydration and guacamole.

The R-day comes and I overslept, Mrs. Balboa drove me to the event site and I was stressed that I wouldn’t have time to warm-up properly, hydrate myself , find a good starting position or even make the begining of the race. I was late and got to the Olympic Boulevard seconds from the start. The warm-up was the sprint to the start line and I literally managed to get across the barriers of the “runners running over 55 min” section 10 seconds before the start and managed to jump into the second section just as the race started. Traffic – check, warm-up – check, hydration would have to wait for the aid stations.

The race starts and the adrenaline made me run a bit faster than I should. Quickly I jump to around 3:50 pace and try to stay around this pace for a while. My legs are responding well and I try to stick to my goal (according to Judge a good test for any runner is to make a 10km under 40 min).

While thirsty I’m looking forward to my first aid station and I quickly jump towards one of the first water “distributors”, the seconds that follow are a mix of trying not to stop and not spilling water all over me and drink at the same time (Lightning now taught me how to drink!).

The run goes alright for a while until I hit the 4km and suddenly I realise that I have to keep that pace for an extra 6km. My world is about to collapse until I run past a work colleague – of course I couldn’t appear to be feeling (too) bad (not at the start at least) so I increased the rythm and slowly counted down the km. Passing people was actually motivating me and the climax came when I passed a lean naturally-gifted looking runner.

My watch was set for average pace/total km/instantaneous pace and when I crossed the Yarra River towards the MCG my average pace was very close to 3:59 – hitting 4:00 would be a failed mission so I pushed until the moment I saw an unexpected climb (William Barak Bridge) and thought I would lose it since it was massively steep (well, it seemed steep at that time); according to my watch I was still fine and the worst part was actually entering the MCG, it was a never-ending carpet…and I was happy until I saw 40:47 on my watch…damn it.

Balboa finishing at MCG

I told Mrs Balboa about my frustration and was ready to put on my FB status “Mission Failed” but after analyzing my Movescount I realised I’ve run 10.2 km and not 10km. Therefore I was still in the group of the elected ones. Judge made me come to reality again when he showed me my GPS imprecise readings.

At the end Mr Rowan (myself that day) did 40:34 (real time) and further opportunities will come to break that PB.

A beer followed in good company (Judge, Judge brother and Mrs. Balboa) and after that the holy grail meal for the RBR after each race, dumplings.

The king Judge was disappointed with his result, but I only have one word for him: Respect!

Anyway, this is the reason why people don’t let me write here more often, its boring!

Final Thoughts:

Judge – They say you learn more from the bad ones than the good ones. If that’s true I should have learnt a shedload! I still loved it though. While my running has clearly gravitated towards the trails in recent years I still love the vibe and intensity of the big city runs. Seeing so many people push themselves to places they havn’t been before is such an awesome thing to be a part of. I’ll be back, theres still a few demons to be conquered.


Post-race refuelling
Post-race refueling

Lessons for the day:

– Judge had forgotten just unforgiving road marathons can be. And relentless. And hard.

– While smashing a blue gatorade after a marathon may seem like a good idea it can have unintended and somewhat explosive consequences.

– Balboa doesnt know how to drink in races

– Passing people you know or gifted-looking runners always gives you extra motivation

– Being on time might save Balboa some trouble in the future

– Changing our Coopers Pale Ale diet to an assorted mix of alcoholic drinks might lead us to a pb

Red Beard Rating:


4/5 Red Beards – not a trail or ultra but still an awesome event. Bonus beards for finishing on the hallowed turf.

Garmin Connect/Movescount: (The Judge) (Balboa)

Todays words brought to you by: The Judge and Balboa

Walk (run) for Prems!

Red Beard Racing are teaming up with Team Finn to create Finn’s RBR for the 5km and 10km Walk for Prems at Albert Park on 27 October, 2013.

It’s a cause close to our hearts as my sister recently gave birth to little Finn at 29 weeks and 5 days on the 22nd April this year. Finn stayed in ICU at the Monash Hospital for what felt like an eternity to me (and which must have felt like 1,000 eternities to my sister!)  before moving on to Waverly Private Hospital and then finally home. There was a few ups and downs along the way, nothing that little Finn and his Mum and Dad couldn’t handle though. He’s already kicked ass in the toughest fight of his life, I’m sure he’ll do just fine.

As soon as Finn can walk, uncle Luke will be teaching him how to run.

If you’d like to join Finn’s RBR for a 5km or 10km run or walk, click here or if you’re feeling generous and want to make a donation, click here.

Today’s words by: Lightning

Finn in his first week hooked up to every machine in the world
Finn the Fighter Pilot. He was very happy the day the tubes came out.
Finn’s sign for the hospital crib so all the other kids knew who was boss.
Finn down to 1 tube and able to go on outings out of the humidicrib!
Finn now – happy, healthy and strong!

Surf Coast Century – 21st September 2013

After a few months of winter training Lightning and The Judge headed down to Victoria’s magical surf coast for a crack at the Surf Coast Century pairs relay. Here’s how it went…

Leg 1 – Lightning

Choosing the comforts of home over the back seat of a Mazda3 in the Anglesea carpark, the alarm clock chirped at 2.45am and I was on my way to Judge’s house. We were in Anglesea by 5am and strolled down to the startline for a 5.30am start. Similar to my first (and only other!) ultra, I wasn’t thinking about the distance at all, I was just pumped to be down on the beach, headlamp on, ready to roll. 3,2,1 and we were away. Around 1km in I stopped and turned around to see hundreds of headlamps bobbing up and down, an incredibly cool sight. Back through the startline to continue on to Torquay and was looking for the judge to pass on the headlamp. I’d warmed up from a quick start, so ditched the gloves, arm warmers and long sleeve shirt and took off, only to realise 10 steps later I still had the headlamp in my hand. Bugger.

Lightning....really to roll
Lightning….ready to roll


The sun slowly begun to rise and as it did, it started – the best run ever.

Stunning Surf Coast sunrise
Stunning Surf Coast sunrise


The sun shimmering bright red on the wet sand, the most magnificent coastline rising well above us on the other side, I was in love. I didn’t want it to end. The kms we’re passing effortlessly, I was soaked from the waist down, my shoes were full of sand… Are we meant to be going this way? Clambering over the headlands at times felt like I should have had a rope tied around my waist. There were a few sections of very soft sand, particularly through Bells Beach, but even those sections couldn’t take the smile off my face. Rounding the last headland into Torquay backbeach, the sound of cowbells and cheering resulted in a surge in pace over the last km. One last soft sand crossing, up the stairs, into the DMZ to high five Jules. “Great work, here’s the car keys, there’s the car, see you back in Anglesea”. It may not have seemed like much but we were actually the second fastest team through that transition, an accomplishment not to be sneezed at. A feather in our caps for organisation, we’re still waiting for our trophy.

Easily the most beautiful and enjoyable 21km of my life. 5 stars, would dine again.


Lightning finishing Leg 1
Lightning finishing Leg 1

Leg 2 – Judge

Before getting into my first leg I should mention that seeing Lightning and the others runners off at the start was one of the highlights of the day.  I think this is the first time I’ve been at the start of a race and not been heading off with the other runners which was a bit of an odd feeling. The view of the ultra peleton streaming down the beach into the darkness with an array of head torches guiding their way was a very cool and somewhat surreal sight. 15 minute later and the leaders came storming through after the 4km loop. I find it incredibly inspiring seeing the front runners in in these runs and this was no different – the pace they were setting was incredible. Brendan Davies came powering through shortly after the first team runner with a small posse hanging off his shoulders. It was really motivating stuff and I couldn’t wait to get stuck into my first leg. Luke came past shortly after – a quick torch drop-off and he headed off towards the big cliffs with the sun rise not far away.

Fast forward two hours and I was at the transition area waiting for Lightning to come in. Runners started coming through pretty regularly and before long I could see him at the far end of Torquay beach. He looked pretty comfortable and told me that he was feeling great so a successful first leg for Team Red Beard. A mandatory high 5 and I was off.

The first leg went like a dream. I felt really good the whole way and really enjoyed checking out some trails I hadn’t been on before. I took the first half at around 80% trying not to overcook it in case I regretted it later in the day. From there I started to lift the intensity. I was feeling good, loving the challenge and thought why the hell not. If it came back to bite me on the arse later so be it.

I ran with another bearded man called Dave (I think) for a while and it felt like we were pushing each other that little bit harder than we probably would have done running solo. I love that feeling of attacking single track while the body is feeling strong. The trails were perfect and it was the most enjoyable part of the day by far.

Nutrition-wise the plans were working well – a gel every 30 minutes, 1.5 litres of Gatorade over the leg and another 500ml of Perpetuem/Gatorade mix (which continues to remind of some sort of horrible medicine I had as a kid). My energy levels stayed steady and there was none of the sloshing in the belly and associated nausea that had troubled me in some recent runs.

At around the 25km mark Anglesea came into sight. It was downhill all the way from there so I picked up the pace. Lightning was reading to go and after a quick hello and goodbye he trotted off up the estuary. It was time to eat and put the feet up for a couple of hours.


Leg Distance: 28km (27.5km on the Garmin), Leg Time: 2h:29m

Leg 3 – Lightning

What does one do with 2hr and 29 mins up his sleeve in the middle of an ultra? Well, a change of clothes, a drive to Anglesea, a sports drink or two, some pasta, and you’re ready to go again. Turns out I was a bit early. I saw the leaders come through effortlessly and marveled at how chatty they were 50km in.
I was ready to go, just another 29km, feeling great. Read something along the lines of “undoubtably the most difficult leg” and shrugged it off. Here comes Jules, he looked great, a fast leg, and seemed very relieved, I think it was because of the killer carpark I got right near the finish line. Everything was working out for Red Beard Racing.
I took off and scrambled under the very low bridge on my stomach without hurting myself aka Judge circa 2012.

I pushed through the last bits of urbanized area and off onto the single track. And that’s when it began- the worst run ever.

The only known predator to the Red Beard, the Sun, popped out and started to cook me as I pushed up the hill towards the coal mine. The stark difference to the first leg was that I was on my own, nobody to talk to, just me, the sun and the hill. The next 15km blurred into one long nightmare. The pasta revisited numerous times as I silently spewed in the bushes, embarrassed in front of the other runners. My strategy of ‘walking the steep hills’ was re-assessed to ‘walk all slopes’. The upset gut meant no more energy gels or bars, just water and hydralite. A text message to Judge may have read something along the lines of “tell my wife I love her…Red Beard down”. I hobjogged around a bend and saw two runners looking out over the valley towards the lighthouse. Awesome, an excuse to stop for a chat. One of the runners was Chuck. A 100km runner from Ballarat. He was doing really well but wanted someone to run with. Agreeing to walk all hills we took off. Chuck saved me. 7kms passed talking crap, it was brilliant. We approached the 70km aid station and his support crew was there, wife and kids. He said seeing them made him a bit emotional, man, I was ready to burst into tears and hug them all too. Feeling good, I grabbed a Nutella sandwich and we set off. We hit a very slight incline and Chuck disappeared into the distance, I think he was still talking to me for kms ahead.
Moggs Creek picnic area was less than 7km away, I then felt that euphoric feeling, I’m going to make it!

A few more nasty hills were in my way though as I strived for the finish, striking conversations with everyone, looking for a new Chuck.


With less than a few kms left I found a final reserve of energy. I rounded a bend and heard the awesome sound of a crowd, I was off, sprinting to a triumphant finish! The course then looped around a bit and up a hill… Damn it, this isn’t the finish… I made it up the hill and then down, reset the sprint and bounded* (*to the untrained eye, this may have looked like a painful hobble) through the finish line, hi-fiving anything that protruded in my direction, liberally applying a coating of sweat to anyone game enough. The cheer was pretty huge as I came in, I think they could read from my face that I’d had a very tough day at the office, I loved it. Judge was waiting and clapping me in, he’d had time to go to a few cafés, get a haircut and visit some friends- I was really disappointed to have dropped our position but relieved to have finished.
Jules was off and it was time for me to lie down.
A huge battle of mind vs. body vs. hills – I can’t say I enjoyed this leg, but I was thrilled it didn’t completely pants me. I left nothing out there except some pasta which was promptly replaced by some lovely risotto at the 77km checkpoint and my finish line.

Lghtning finishing Leg 3
Finishing the dreaded 3rd Leg

Leg 4 – Judge

I don’t think Lightning would mind me saying that he was looking slightly below average on his arrival into the transition area. He had sent me a couple of texts earlier warning me that he had run into difficulties so it was great to see him tough it out and get to end. I had run the 3rd leg last year and knew it was a tough one with some nasty hills that seemed far worse than the profile had indicated. I felt a bit bad leaving him but Lightning assured me that he would be OK so I headed off.

The break had been quite enjoyable – after smashing some sports drink, cake and a ham sandwich i had headed to the picnic ground early to see some of the front runners. I saw Rohan Walker come though looking far from comfortable as well as the lead women including young gun Lucy Bartholomew sporting some pretty impressive leg wounds presumably from a fall (saw a few of those throughout the day!). I also had a good chat to Dion Milne – co-founder of the Surf Coast Trial Runners FB, who was crewing for Matt Hosking (the other co-founder) who was running the full distance. Matt looked to be working through the course superbly. I later noticed in the results that he finished in 10h33m – a phenomenal effort.

The final leg was fairly uneventful. I felt good for the first 5km then the legs gradually got heavier and heavier. Around the halfway mark I was really hurting and dreaming of Coopers Pale and pizza at the finish line. I was continuing to find the 100km competitors inspiring – they all seemed far more positive than I was feeling. I really had nothing to whinge about after running only half as far.


I perked up a bit running past the lighthouse but then hit another low shortly after that. A 2-3km section of overgrown single track. Trying to run while avoiding branches at head height and tree roots at toe height was tough and to put it bluntly was really giving me the shits. Soon after I was out on the 3km stretch of beach and the final few mental games began. I got through the beach section in 15-20mins and 10 minutes after that that the glorious view of Anglesea and the finish line came into view. Coming over the line is a little hazy but I recall it involved a high 5 to Lightning and a pretty damn satisfying feeling. Soon after that the earlier visions of beer and pizza at the finish line became a reality and we kicked back and enjoyed the post-race atmosphere.


Leg distance: 23km (21.9km on the Garmin) Leg time: 2h:13m

Total distance: 100km (97.9km on the watches)

Total time: 10h:42m:56s


Final Thoughts:

Lightning – The first leg was awesome, by far the most beautiful run I have ever done in my life. The mental barrier really got me in the 3rd leg, as well as a few niggling injuries. Good training run for my declared assault on a particular favourite Mornington Peninsula run in early 2014.

Judge – What an absolute gem of an event. It’s these sort of runs that remind me how much I love this sport. I plan to be back again…and again…and again! A stunning course, friendly down-to-earth competitors, well-organised and great post-race atmosphere – what isn’t there to like! The full 100km beckons but not sure when…

Lessons for the day:

– While we are yet to prove it with a double-blind, randomized trial it seems clear that the longer you run, the friendlier you are! The ultra and trail running community would have to be one of the friendliest, supportive and most down-to-earth going round.

– While the tide waits for no one we hope low tide will be a little later next year. The Bearders aren’t massive fans of 2am alarms!

– A mobile pizza cart at the finish line is sheer genius. Please come back next year.

– No matter what you think your body is telling you, a Nippy’s Chocolate Milk is not a good idea after running 50km, two Coopers Pale Ales and a Pizza. At all other times in life, Nippy’s is the best idea.

Red Beard Rating:

4.5 Red Beards out of 5
4.5 Red Beards out of 5

A stunning course and quality event – deserves nothing less!

Garmin Connect/Movescount:

Todays words brought to you by: Lightning and The Judge

The point of no return

After months of speculation, we’re happy to announce that the Bearders are somewhat injury free and have hence officially signed up in the 2 x 50km relay of the Surf Coast Century! 

The cat is out of the bag
The cat is out of the bag

The last couple of months have gone something like this:

Dumpling v. Training
Fig. 1 – Dumpling v. Training

The above results show a clear correlation between the increase in training and the reduction of dumplings. Previous studies have shown this correlation to be a key factor in reduction of athlete weight as well as increase in aerobic capacity.

A final 17km at Lysterfield was run this morning with the boys officially moving into taper and carbo loading mode (inverse of Fig. 1).

Red Beard Racing Groupies @ Lysterfield
Red Beard Racing Groupies @ Lysterfield

There is no doubt that next Saturday will be a big challenge for us but we’re sure to do it in the Red Beard Racing style – with a beard and smile on and beers afterwards.

Stay tuned for a full race report in the week following.


Trail Runner Magazine Launch – 15th August 2013

Just a quick one to report on The Red Bearders attending their first team function! We were very pumped to score some invites to the formal launch of Trail Run magazine a couple of weeks ago at Sister Bella bar in the Melbourne CBD. It was an excellent night out with great chats with fellow trail nerds and some inspiring words from Richard Bowles and the team at Adventure Types. The night concluded with some very generous giveaways of trail-running goodies. Lightning struck gold and won a pair of Salomon Missions which he was stoked with. He was so impressed that he gave them a test run from the station back home with a bellyfull of beer, pizza and dumplings…not a bad effort! Overall a great evening and the Red Bearders run of luck with winning free stuff continues.

A big thanks to Trail Runner magazine and Adventure Types for a fantastic night!

Lessons learnt:

  • The fellas at Adventure Types have friggin sweet jobs….who wouldn’t kill to have “Adventure Consultant” on their business card?
  • Lightning is the king of winning stuff…he probably needs to go get a lottery ticket
  • Shanghai Village proved itself yet again as the king of post-event feeds. And it doesn’t matter what event – magazine launchs, running events, Bar Mitzvahs….there’s never a bad time for Shanghai dumplings.
Like a scene from Cinderalla....Lightning hoping the Salomons will fit...and they did!
Like a scene from Cinderalla….Lightning hoping the Salomons will fit…and they did!
The happy team (of course an open bar helps!)
The happy team at RBR (of course an open bar helps!)
Simon from Adventure Types
Simon from Adventure Types
Lightning proudly showing off his new wheels
Lightning proudly showing off his new wheels
King Richard
King Richard
Where every good night out should end...
Where every good night out should end

Todays words brought to you by: The Judge

Surf Coast solo jaunt – 11th August 2013

A few pictures from The Judge’s solo jaunt yesterday out to Anglesea to run a section of the Surf Coast track. I ran east from Anglesea, out past Point Addis then back for an even 20km. I’d hoped to go further but the shin splints were giving me grief.

Perfect weather and sublime single track – it doesn’t get much better!

IMG_1104 IMG_1111

Nude trail-running anyone?
Nude trail running anyone?
Pt Addis selfie
Pt Addis selfie

IMG_1113 IMG_1107

Pt Addis beach - great to look at, shit to run on
Pt Addis beach – great to look at, rubbish to run on


Fun techy stuff
Fun techy stuff nearing home

Lessons Learnt:

  • Surf Coast trails rock (but we already knew that)
  • Shin splints are rubbish – but are entirely The Judges fault for ramping up the mileage way too quickly
  • Anglesea Fish and Chips makes for one of the all-time best post-run feeds.

Can’t wait to get back on these trails in 6 weeks time for the Surf Coast Century. Red Beard Racers are hopefully getting a team up for the men’s pairs (if our bodies can get us to the start line!).

Garmin Connect:

Todays words brought to you by: The Judge

Lysty Laps

One of our favourite places to train is out at Lysterfield Park within the Churchill National Park, hitting the trails out there on a weekly basis. Below are some snaps taken over the last few months while out doing Lysty Laps.

Melbourne Trail Runners are holding a group run out there on 8th of September – check it out here and see you there!

Back in January, 30C and very unsettled at 6.30AM
Judge and Balboa crossing the wall on a windy winter’s morning
July 2013 – It was so cold on this morning that some of the puddles had a layer of ice over them. Taken on the dam wall.
Up near the quarry looking back towards the lake, one of the many great views out at Lysterfield – This one was back in February when the park was shrouded in a smokey haze from the bush fires.
A couple of Balboa’s mates

Lessons Learnt at Lysterfield:

  • When running on the same morning as the Oxfam Walk, don’t run through the check point while volunteers are being briefed in what would only just be record time.
  • It’s extremely funny when a Portuguese man verbally abuses animals that are on the Australian Coat of Arms.
  • When sprinting towards the finish (Hallam North Road car park for us) up the very steep hill on Glen Track, hold your run until the big tree. Save some breath to casually ask the others how they’re feeling.
  • When running with Lighting, every stick, shadow and movement in the bushes is a deadly snake with a thirst for trail runners.

Today’s words by Lightning

Melbourne Trail Runners Hill Clinic – 4th August 2013

It was a chilly winters morning but nonetheless Judge and Balboa rocked up to Studley Park for their inaugural attendance at a Melbourne Trail Runners (MTR) session. MTR have been going for six months or so and put on free monthly group trail runs and cheap breaky afterwards. Fantastic idea!  On this particular Sunday they were also holding a free hill technique session run by Ultra nut Richard Bowles. Over the past 12 months Richard has tackled the Bicentennial National Trail in its entirety (5330km),  ran from one tip of New Zealand to the other (3054km) and also completed the Israeli national trail (1009km). A fairly impressive resume!

Prior to the technique session the “experienced” half of the group, which Balboa and Judge foolishly put themselves in, headed off for a one hour run up the river. Balboa and Judge latched on to the front few runners and tried to hang on which was a tough challenge particularly for Judge after his long, slow run in arctic conditions the day prior. Unsuprisingly he was feeling far from spritely and in the words of the great Phil Ligget the elastic came close to breaking on several occasions. The trail was first class with lots of undulating single track and some short technical sections which included a couple of dry waterfalls. I think this was the “Goat Track” that I’ve heard a bit about but never quite knew where it was. The Bearders will definitely add it to their list of top training options.

Following the one hour “warm-up” there was barely time to chomp down a complimentary Powerbar and get Judges heart rate below 220 before the hill technique session commenced. Richard had found a nice little steep pinch for some practice and after a few words of wisdom put us through our paces. Balboa AKA the Portuguese Panther sprinted up and down like a gazelle. The Judge’s efforts were somewhat akin to a lame elephant. He was pretty sure that Richard’s comments to “stop slapping the ground” were directed squarely at him. Some good tips were learnt though and it was a very worthwhile session. After a few reps everyone was knackered and breakfast was calling. A brilliant breaky of fruit, cake and pastries for the bargain price of $4 topped off a great morning.

The Gazelle and Elephant feeling the burn
The Gazelle and Elephant feeling the burn

Lessons of the day:

  • Avoid long runs the evening before an MTR session unless you enjoy blowing up in the first km
  • Carrot, Pineapple and Coconut Cake is by far the best cake Judge has ever tasted and he doesn’t make that statement lightly
  • And some serious tips learnt from Richard – run quietly, drive with the arms, big rumps make for good trail runners

Overall a fantastic morning and the Red Bearders will no doubt be back for some more MTR sessions in the future!

The Judge contemplates going back for thirds…


                 Today’s words brought to you by: Judge

The Debut – You Yangs Trail Run – 21 July 2013

Red Beard Racers burst hobbled their way into the public domain (after months of secret training and years of carb loading) at the You Yangs Trail Running Festival. The race is organised by the great crew at TrailsPlus. Judge Jules and Lightning Luke braved the cold to front up to the 30km course. Seasoned trail runners, this was the first outing for Red Beard Racers as a team.

It was fair to say that the debut wasn’t the ‘shot over the bow’ that RBR was aiming for, after all, the team logo was designed to strike fear in the minds of other teams registered for the Surf Coast Century such as the “Coast Busters”. Nuno Balboa was a no-show, The Judge was battling a cold and cocktail party mini dim-sim remorse and Lightning was hopped up on cold and flu capsules. Despite this, the red beards took off, setting a cracking pace behind the older ladies.

The Optimist and the Pessimist

The festival included 15km, 30km, 50km and 50 mile (80km) courses, so relatively, we could only puff our chests out as we passed some of the field whilst jumping out of the way of the serious guys in the long runs.

The first 10km passed relatively easily as Lightning picked a ‘nemesis’ (someone you must not be beaten by, in this case a 60 year old lady), and they set their sites on Flinder’s Peak. Without needing to stop for discussion (but needing to stop for a toilet break) the boys shifted the theme of the day from ‘shock and awe’ to ‘let’s just try to finish’.

“Did you see that guy? I think he’s wearing a skivvy…”

The last 10km were pretty tough, the man-flu cloud was hovering, Lightning started with the “I can’t feel my arms” or “should I be worried if I’m loosing my hearing” with intermittent horror flashbacks to the Maroondah Trail Run DNF (The DNF belongs to Lightning, The Judge practically won that one). As they rounded the bend the great volunteer at the Aid Station proclaimed “Second Last…Station”, Lightning joked “I thought you were going to say we’re second last!”, big LOLs all round. Truth was we weren’t too far from the back of the pack.

In the last couple of kms, a Mick Donges (eventual winner of the 80km race) look-alike was seen walking up the hill…”QUICK! Let’s catch him”. It wasn’t him.  Anyway, we finished and probably even more impressively, resisted the urge to stop at the Service Centre on the Geelong Road on the way home for Dim Sims and Triple Bacon and Egg rolls with a side of Big M. More impressively again was the kick-ass medal. Fun fact: Lightning refuses to compete unless there is a medal for all competitors (let’s face it, a medal for placing won’t happen).

Lessons Learnt:

  • Mini dim sims don’t do you any favours.
  • Drop toilets are horrible (we already knew this, we just were reminded).
  • Mick Donges doesn’t walk up hills.
  • Cold and Flu Capsules are not part of a sound race nutrition plan.
  • Fortified and salad = night of spewing and no show.

More training required although we have ordered t-shirts which will surely make things better. This shit just got real.

Today’s words brought to you by: Lightning